In the news lately their has been a lot about people unable to quit smoking Hastings was especially mentioned, so I thought it might be helpful to some people for me to share my own battle. I smoked for about forty years and was totally addicted to it.One day I was trying to quit, and I was driving and became so era tic my Husband jumped out of the car and bought me some cigarettes. Another time I had been a Christian a number of years but was still unable to give up, when I sprained my ankle really badly, our house group leader at the time said to my Husband that it would be a good time for me to stop has I couldn't get to the shops, so not to get any for me. Well you know what it feels like when people try and make you do things, yes you're right I got the hump, so after Steve had refused to go to the shop I was livid and I crawled nearly a mile to the shop got my Cigs and crawled back again, I'm sure I looked really pathetic. So I did try many times and people prayed lots of times for me.
We had moved to Hastings in 1987 and joined a church here One of the elders was very supportive to me and when a visiting speaker came from India, they told me what a wonderful deliverance ministry he had so this was May 2002 I went to all the sessions and then on the last evening it was a Sunday evening Ram Babu began to speak on addictions, I knew this was my night, at the end he prayed for me and then the Elders wife spoke to me she said you've got to fight this and I knew this but suddenly something clicked in my spirit and so the fight began my addiction didn't just magically disappear it was something I had to walk through but the timing was mine.So what made the difference all I can say his that the Holy Spirit in me made it possible it was like it made me stand up on the inside and fight. There were times that I was so near giving in but something always happened to bring me through. I remember going in to town and I was definitely going to get cigarettes but I ran in to one of the ladies in the Church and I knew this was a God incidence we went for a coffee together and she prayed with me.
The following weekend my son was getting married and at that time you could still smoke in Pubs and clubs, I went to the hen night and suffered every bodies smoking then the Wedding reception was in a cricket club, Somehow I got through all this without falling. I walked round the small seaside town I lived in walking the dog and praying gradually the cravings began to subside I believe at times God just carried me I learned so much about the goodness of God and his grace got me through, because it was such a difficult experience I have never been tempted to try smoking again when God does something for us its a real job he does and I can only give him praise for his deliverance if anyone reading this has a problem with smoking and would like me to pray for them please leave me a message it would be a privilege to help someone else.
Sunday 22 June 2014
Sunday 15 June 2014
The Farmhouse
The silence was broken by the shower of nails, has reg pulled the nails out of the leather belts, and let them scatter over the already messy floor. Mary watched her brother in law , with a smile on her face.
'What's the matter Reg, you're attacking those belts like they have done you some harm'
'yes well we've got to get this order finished or we'll lose the contract, Dave should have been here today to help , but he had some excuse as usual'
'Well scowling and feeling resentful isn't going to help you get the job done any quicker is it'.
'Agh, you're not normal,being so placid I don't think you have got blood in your veins'.
'Calm down Reg you'll have a stroke carrying on like this, and then they won't get finished'.
He scowled even more and turned the wireless up, Mary sighed and carried on working.The single bulb in the workshop shone dimly, it was autumn and already getting dark and it was only four o clock. The place was really dilapidated there were three benches with these leather belts they came full of nails , which they had to pull out and and clean and smooth the belts. They were then sent away to be used in industry
Outside was the farmyard with the hens running around clucking, you could hear the cows in the field mooing, it would soon be time for.them to be milked. Mary enjoyed milking and had her own stool which she sat on for the milking. She knew each cow by name and got quite attached to them. But she wouldn't be milking them today, she had to stay to get this order finished. Finances were tight the old farmhouse took a lot of upkeep and he Nephew Michael was going to University soon. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth he was, didn't know what it was like to go without. Everything he wanted he got, his mother Enid saw to that. she could see no wrong in him. he would break her heart one of these days she was sure.Mary had caught him with a girl in his bedroom, she was sure he had forced her against her will. she had told Enid but she said she was telling lies and if she told any more she would turn her out. She could be wicked at times, but she knew it was only words, Mary had been born a cripple and Enid had promised to let her live with her and Reg.
'I'm off to the cows, I'll come back when I've done ok'.
'All right Reg see you later'.
Suddenly she could hear shouting coming from the farm yard, Mary hurried as fast has she could on her crutches. What greeted her when she got outside shocked her, Reg was fighting with his son Michael, Reg was no match for his son who was a strong boy in the prime of life.reg hit Michael on the chest, Michael just stood and took it.
'I'm not fighting you dad you'd come off the worst and I can't do that to you'.
'I'll show you not to behave like this on my land', shouted Reg.
'You don't understand Dad Beth is so naive I was just trying to help her understand what young men expected these days'.
'I don't believe what I'm hearing, I'll castrate you myself you're a sex addict.'he got hold of Michael and shook him like a rat.
Enid was standing with her arms round Beth trying to comfort her, she was sobbing uncontrollably.
'Reg I think that's enough, leave Michael alone you're not doing any good, lets go inside and settle this like a decent family'.
Reg dropped his arms and began sobbing,'What have I bred, he's a monster'. he went inside shaking his head.
Next day the house was like a morgue, reg was out in the workshop, Mary would go and join him soon, but first she would speak to her sister last night she had left them to sort things out themselves they didn't want her butting in.
'What about Beth, has she told her mother Enid'
'No she's a good girl she won't say anything. Reg caught them before anything happened. 'Michael's lucky again then'.
'He'll be going to University soon so it will all blow over by the time he comes back'.
'Hi nothing changes he'll be smirking behind your back, he needs discipline, shame national service has stopped, that would have sorted him out'
Mary made her way to the workshop shaking her head .
'What's the matter Reg, you're attacking those belts like they have done you some harm'
'yes well we've got to get this order finished or we'll lose the contract, Dave should have been here today to help , but he had some excuse as usual'
'Well scowling and feeling resentful isn't going to help you get the job done any quicker is it'.
'Agh, you're not normal,being so placid I don't think you have got blood in your veins'.
'Calm down Reg you'll have a stroke carrying on like this, and then they won't get finished'.
He scowled even more and turned the wireless up, Mary sighed and carried on working.The single bulb in the workshop shone dimly, it was autumn and already getting dark and it was only four o clock. The place was really dilapidated there were three benches with these leather belts they came full of nails , which they had to pull out and and clean and smooth the belts. They were then sent away to be used in industry
Outside was the farmyard with the hens running around clucking, you could hear the cows in the field mooing, it would soon be time for.them to be milked. Mary enjoyed milking and had her own stool which she sat on for the milking. She knew each cow by name and got quite attached to them. But she wouldn't be milking them today, she had to stay to get this order finished. Finances were tight the old farmhouse took a lot of upkeep and he Nephew Michael was going to University soon. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth he was, didn't know what it was like to go without. Everything he wanted he got, his mother Enid saw to that. she could see no wrong in him. he would break her heart one of these days she was sure.Mary had caught him with a girl in his bedroom, she was sure he had forced her against her will. she had told Enid but she said she was telling lies and if she told any more she would turn her out. She could be wicked at times, but she knew it was only words, Mary had been born a cripple and Enid had promised to let her live with her and Reg.
'I'm off to the cows, I'll come back when I've done ok'.
'All right Reg see you later'.
Suddenly she could hear shouting coming from the farm yard, Mary hurried as fast has she could on her crutches. What greeted her when she got outside shocked her, Reg was fighting with his son Michael, Reg was no match for his son who was a strong boy in the prime of life.reg hit Michael on the chest, Michael just stood and took it.
'I'm not fighting you dad you'd come off the worst and I can't do that to you'.
'I'll show you not to behave like this on my land', shouted Reg.
'You don't understand Dad Beth is so naive I was just trying to help her understand what young men expected these days'.
'I don't believe what I'm hearing, I'll castrate you myself you're a sex addict.'he got hold of Michael and shook him like a rat.
Enid was standing with her arms round Beth trying to comfort her, she was sobbing uncontrollably.
'Reg I think that's enough, leave Michael alone you're not doing any good, lets go inside and settle this like a decent family'.
Reg dropped his arms and began sobbing,'What have I bred, he's a monster'. he went inside shaking his head.
Next day the house was like a morgue, reg was out in the workshop, Mary would go and join him soon, but first she would speak to her sister last night she had left them to sort things out themselves they didn't want her butting in.
'What about Beth, has she told her mother Enid'
'No she's a good girl she won't say anything. Reg caught them before anything happened. 'Michael's lucky again then'.
'He'll be going to University soon so it will all blow over by the time he comes back'.
'Hi nothing changes he'll be smirking behind your back, he needs discipline, shame national service has stopped, that would have sorted him out'
Mary made her way to the workshop shaking her head .
Monday 9 June 2014
The Adventures of an under aged rating
Sam kicked the stones, he hated his life, and where he lived. He was the youngest child in a large family.his father was a fisherman and expected him to follow hi onto the boat's. However Sam wanted more than that, he dreamt of going to exotic places and seeing people that were different from him.
He lived in a Terrace house, their were seven children as well has \mum and Dad,his older brothers all worked on the boats and his sister worked gutting the fish, ooh that was an awful job. No he wanted something different, he had just finished school he was fourteen and he would soon be a man.. His Father ruled the household. Poor Mum didn't have a voice her job was to look after all of us. She worked scrubbing, washing, and baking for them all. She'd sew by candlelight patching up all their clothes.
On Sunday's they all had to go to Chapel in their best clobber, Sam hated it his shirt irritated him it was stiff, he'd rather be down by the sea shore dreaming.
One day he heard of a famous Admiral coming to give a talk in the Memorial hall, he was trying to recruit boys to join the Navy, now that would be something.So he decided to get himself dressed up like he was older, he was just desperate to be accepted.He knew his Father wouldn't give him his permission to join, so he had to look old enough to sign his own consent.
Has the day approached he secretly borrowed his brother Silas's clothes and he found his Identity card that said that the bearer was eighteen.
On the day he told his Parents that he was going to see one of his old School friends so he wouldn't be home for tea. He was really excited and his brother Silas noticed it.
'What are you up to Sam', he asked.
''Nothing I'm just going to see Will, to share what we're going to do now we've left school'.
'You sure you're not meeting girls or something'.
'No of course not I hate girls they're so giggly'.
Later that day he was sitting in the memorial hall riveted by the stories of far away places. The Officer that was with the Admiral said anyone interested in joining the navy were to line up in front of the table on the right Sam rushed over and joined the queue, he was really nervous.He had his brothers identity card in his pocket;he had to remember his name was Seth the photo looked a bit like him so he had to hope for the best.He got to the front of the queue.
'What's your name', the officer asked.
'Seth Marlow Sir'.
'How old are you'
'Eighteen Sir'
'Have you any identity',
'Yes Sir', and he handed him the identity card.
'Hmm it doesn't look much like you',
'It was taken a couple of years ago Sir'.
'Oh alright go into that room on your right to fill in the forms, he tried to walk nonchalantly over to the room,
when he really felt like running
Later that day he had a medical at the local hospital, if this is OK he was in.He couldn't believe it
Six weeks later he had been accepted and he was to join his first ship H.M.S. Jupiter he had hidden his uniform at his friends house and had his post sent there..He had written a letter to his Mum explaining his actions and Will would deliver it after he had sailed. Sam arrived at the station to catch a train to Portsmouth
He had been sent a pass so he didn't have to find the train fare.He boarded the train and he was away.
He arrived at the Dockyard and saw the officer who pointed to a ship he had his kitbag so he joined a group of sailors.
He was on board now and they were just heading out o he was beaming this was a real adventure they were heading towards the Azores wherever that was but it sounded great He knew he had found the chance he had been longing for.
'What's your name', the officer asked.
'Seth Marlow Sir'.
'How old are you'
'Eighteen Sir'
'Have you any identity',
'Yes Sir', and he handed him the identity card.
'Hmm it doesn't look much like you',
'It was taken a couple of years ago Sir'.
'Oh alright go into that room on your right to fill in the forms, he tried to walk nonchalantly over to the room,
when he really felt like running
Later that day he had a medical at the local hospital, if this is OK he was in.He couldn't believe it
Six weeks later he had been accepted and he was to join his first ship H.M.S. Jupiter he had hidden his uniform at his friends house and had his post sent there..He had written a letter to his Mum explaining his actions and Will would deliver it after he had sailed. Sam arrived at the station to catch a train to Portsmouth
He had been sent a pass so he didn't have to find the train fare.He boarded the train and he was away.
He arrived at the Dockyard and saw the officer who pointed to a ship he had his kitbag so he joined a group of sailors.
He was on board now and they were just heading out o he was beaming this was a real adventure they were heading towards the Azores wherever that was but it sounded great He knew he had found the chance he had been longing for.
Sunday 1 June 2014
For the love of Spain Part two
I got back to Spain in time for the Republic's offensive at Brunette which is west of Madrid,in July 1937. The hospital they sent me to was regularly bombarded in spite of having a big red cross on it's roof. Their was a a very good team, but i missed the closeness I'd had with Martin and the other medics, but the war had escalated and there wasn't much time to build up relationships. We had a job to do and we did it the best we could with very limited resources. Some times we had to work with torches has that was the only available light We worked late into the night most days. It was on one of these occasions that some of the team had gone back to there quarters so they could take over from us after the operation's were finished. We heard a lot of noise from planes and bombs dropping. Later we were told our quarters had taken a direct hit and their were no survivor's. The news hit me very hard we had all come to help and here our friends and colleagues had lost there lives.We were not the enemy, but we were told they were casualties of the war. I spent nights crying for them I wasn't much help so they moved me to a mobile unit up in the mountains at Terriely helping the wounded in the Republic's retreat eastwards
I met up again with Martin the surgeon I was with before and he seemed to quiet my fears and give me courage to carry on. He said how valuable was and so I pulled myself up and concentrated on the job we had to do. Then their was a concentrated attack on the area we were in and the unit was bombed, I was injured I didn't remember much of what had happened. I woke up in a long barn full of wounded people their weren't many nurses or medics the surgeon did their best .Suddenly I found someone holding my hand and crying, I looked up and there was Simeon. 'Where have you come from', I stammered.
'I came back has a medic I wasn't well enough to fight'.
I smiled here was a friend, and maybe more .
He kissed my hand, 'It will be alright you will get better God put me here at this time to be with you I believe it's our destiny to be together'.
'Your English is good'
'I took lessons I was determined to find you again, I love you '. he smiled
I did recover but my injuries meant I would never be able to have children, still I had a life.
I was sent back to England to get proper medical care, Simeon came with me he just wouldn't leave me. When I fully recovered we were married and bought a smallholding and we were content to have a quieter life .
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